Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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