I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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