I cut my penus on the lid.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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