How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize