I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
