stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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