its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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