Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
