I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize