ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm too high and old for this...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
