if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
