Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
