i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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