theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
