Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
