Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
