What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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