i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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