Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
