then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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