U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
