I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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