Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
