I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
