i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
