its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
