So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
