end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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