First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
