Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
