remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
