...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
