all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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