Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
