so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
