Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
