Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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