I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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