KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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