After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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