His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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