so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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