Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
