i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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