I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
