My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
