i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
