Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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