my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
