Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
