Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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