Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
