Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
