At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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