She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
