i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
