i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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