he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
