How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
