laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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